Primal Instinct – Coming December 2015

My name is Meredith McCann. I’m but nineteen years of age, yet I’ve lived countless lifetimes.  I’ve been sentenced to spend my existence seeking out the Heartmark women, descendents of my brother Colin and his wife Aleena. Why? There is one reason and one reason only. To destroy their chances of finding, and holding onto, true love.

I am forbidden to harm the women – or the men they love — physically. So for each lifetime where I find the Heartmark woman I must use whatever means may be at my disposal.

Sometimes I shock even myself with my cunning and cruelty.mildreth

Shifted against my will from one Time to another in search of my nieces, I’ve seen things, done things, which would see me condemned to death  if those in my era were to learn of them.

You must be wondering why I must spend lifetime after lifetime searching for these Heartmark women?

I’ll tell you.

As punishment for a crime I committed. Aye, I admit to my crime, having drawn blood from my very own brother with my jealous sword– but I did so in a moment of fear, insecurity and loneliness.

Colin was all the family I had left, you see. My brother was the only one in my heart, and the one I’ll likely never see again. Not that he would wish to lay eyes upon me even if it were possible.

And why would he? After all I’ve done.

I was so afraid the love he held in his heart for Aleena would crowd out any affection he may have held for me, the sister he’d raised since I was five and he seven and our parents slain before our very eyes by an enemy chieftain.

He and I against the world, that’s how it had always been… until Aleena came into his life.

Colin’s heart, his time, his world, shifted from me, his own flesh and blood, to her. Leaving me lonely, so very lonely.

I tried to tell him, I really did. But he brushed off my words, my tears. He ignored my pleadings that he should cast her aside so we could go back to how we were before she came along.

Now, countless lifetimes later, I understand I did not truly have anything to fear from his new marriage. Now, countless lifetimes later, I understand that a man’s heart, a woman’s heart, can hold many different kinds of love in them, for countless people.

If only I’d known then what I know now….

Yet I didn’t know then and now, well, now I’m so tired. Exhausted really, and do you know what? I’m just as afraid, insecure, and lonely as I was that fateful day in Colin’s chambers, where I struck out at my beloved brother and set into motion this wretched life I now live.

I’ve destroyed countless Heartmark women’s loves. I always leave those times feeling almost as empty as the nieces I left behind.

Regret scorches my heart, but what am I to do? My whole purpose in being in their lifetime is to see them fail.

There have been even more Heartmark women and the men who loved them who stood strong against me, halting my efforts to destroy them at every turn. And once they utter the words I fear I myself will never be allowed to utter, the words ‘I do’, I am swept away, to another day and time, to begin my search for the Heartmark woman all over again.Those times when I leave, emptiness again fills my heart, but it is compounded a hundredfold by sadness and bitter regret.For I’ll never have the chance to find my own true love. How can I when I have no control over where or when I will be whisked away?

But just in case I’m wrong, just in case I may someday be able to seek penitence for my crimes against my brother and his wife, I have fiercely held on to my innocence.

Oh, in many of the Times I’ve lived there were those who would swear that innocence was far from me, a thing long past.

They’d have been wrong.

Just in case — just in case pity should ever be shown to me, and I can stop my relentless pursuit of the Heartmark women–at last leave them in peace, then, aye, then I can find the person who fills my heart the way Aleena fills Colin’s.

I vow I will go to my new husband pure– in mind and body, and I will belong to him and him alone forever more…

If, that is, pity should ever be shown to me.

Coming December, 2015

Reviews for Finding Her Voice

From Amazon Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars How Do You Heal a Broken Heart? July 22, 2013FindingHerVoiceCoverArt
Format:Kindle Edition
What does one do when everything begins to go wrong? Finding Her Voice is a heart wrenching story about a young couple with a sweet young daughter, who soon learn what it really means to have to deal with tragedy from the first page and on through the book. When they learn of the death of their daughter, not only are two hearts broken, neither are able to find a way to heal and go on. Not able to cope together the couple ends up in divorce, they also lose their home, and Jennifer, the mother, struggling miserably with her own grief, her faith, and her loss of peace, has to venture off on her own to find some answers.As a historical romance writer, I don’t normally read contemporary fiction, but I found this story to be a fast-paced page turner from the beginning to the end, sometimes difficult to read because of the sadness, but so well written I had to go on to find out what would happen next — An easy to read, true-to-life book of friendship, faith, and hope.

Only one disappointment for me was in not finding out what happened to a very important character in the story who could not bear the tragedy of a lost child.

I recommend this book to readers who enjoy contemporary fiction with real life circumstances.

Shirley Kiger Connolly,
award winning author of both historical romance and nonfiction books of reflection

No Easy Answers

Posted by Natalie Chamberlain on 16th Jul 2013

I don’t usually read this genre of literature but I really enjoyed this book. As a pastor, I especially appreciated the fact that Lynette Endicott not only chose not to give easy, pat answers to difficult questions, she even confronted those easy answers, showing them to be more harmful than helpful.

The happily ever after ending was expected but the journey there wasn’t. The story is well written and engaging. The characters are true to life as are their situations. I found it to be a very hopeful book and well worth the time to read it.

Dog is a key Character in New Release

Oliver Twist is my personal dog, a therapy dog like Atlas in The Return of Joy.download

I didn’t own pets until after my 50th birthday, so they mean a lot to me. (I didn’t engage with the ones in the household as I was growing up — they belonged to other people.)

When I walked into the pet store to get something for the cats that my daughter convinced me we needed, I saw Ollie in a cage with the other rescues. He was looking right at me, and I knew if I looked back I would bring him home, and I did.

So I had to include Ollie as a character in my latest release, Finding Her Voice.

A remarkably talented artist has just finished a statue of him for me to use in promoting Finding Her Voice when he can’t come along in person. And here it is with his actual photo for comparison.

Check out more of Jennifer Rudkin’s art at:

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